Today was Chemo treatment #2. The treatment with smoothly with just a little stint of where I felt really dizzy and lightheaded but that passed. Once home, i couldn't keep my eyes open and went straight to bed. I woke up only to puke my guts up. Not fun. I'm reminded today of how much I cherish the good days. I've got amazing days coming ahead of me including a trip to Chicago. I bought tickets to go to a concert by an amazing band called Something Corporate. They are having a reunion tour, having broke up about 5 years ago. The lead singer Andrew formed a new band called Jack's Mannequin. Also amazing. Andrew was diagnosed with lymphatic leukemia a few years ago and went through complete hell by the looks of it. My lymphoma experience is about the same, but he is in remission and is such an inspiration. His lyrics are amazing from their latest album and it gives me hope for my future. I am so excited about this concert and literally nothing could stop me!
In other news, I've decided, (like actually decided and not just faking it) that I am not going to let cancer hold me down. I'm looking to get back out into this whole dating scene. Not sure how that is going to work out, but after a devastatingly terrible break up and broken heart, I've finally healed those wounds. I think having cancer really helped with that actually, so for that, thank you Hodgkins. I need a nickname for my cancer. I'll come back to that. Anyways. It's seemed like a crazy obstacle course the past few years with amazing ups and incredible lows. Losing 100 pounds, way up! Having my heart ripped out and trampled on, way down! But lessons are learned and hearts are mended. I finally have put myself in place where I'm ready to love again. Now there is this whole cancer business, but it's just a minor snag in that plan. I think I've just watched the Notebook way too many times and the hopeless romantic in me is just blooming!
Today was a bad day though. I was sick and my spirits were down, but I know that there is hope on the other side of today. I'm trying to be as strong as humanly possible. This is just something that I have to do. It's just something that I have to go through and I might be changed for the good.
im sorry this last treatmet was so rough on you. wish i could do or say something to make it a bit better.
ReplyDeleteim so happy to hear (or rather, read) you say that you are not going to let cancer hold you down. thats awesome! i know easier said than done at times, but you have my full support and i know the support of many more. know that im here if you need anything. im up for a fight with ya!
céire