So the past few weeks have probably been the worst so far for me during this whole process. I haven't slept more than 4 or 5 hours a night for weeks and I am constantly having sever joint pain. It has become unbearable and all the medicine I have been taking does not seem to help. With that being said, i've been really cranky lately and probably really unpleasant to be around. I snapped at my mom earlier in the week and she did not deserve it. She has done everything she possibly can for me to make me comfortable and to make me happy. This whole cancer thing isn't on me, but its really not easy on my mom or those closest to me. I honestly can't imagine being in my mothers shoes and having to deal with me!
Also, throughout all of this, i've said it over and over again that as much as everyone tries to understand what I'm going through, they just can't. But there are people that do understand. And these people are my best friends, who happen to be complete strangers. I've made quite a few friends through the Cancers Survivor Network. It's a great place to meet people who have been through or are going through this exact same thing. I've met so many people who are around my age and that in itself is a blessing. No offense to my companions at the UT Cancer institute, but I don't have much to talk about with my 70 year old companions, other than a love of The Price is Right. Anyways, I digress. Some of my friends have been in remission for 20 years, some have just finished treatment, and others are still fighting away. Everytime I get to hear the wonderful news that someone's cancer is gone, I truly get so excited for them. I know my day is right around the corner and i know they will be right there cheering me on as well. So thanks!