Tuesday, April 13, 2010

The one where my life is frozen 4/3/10


I just had my second biopsy done on Thursday. The doctor made an incision right over the last incision and he dug in much deeper this time. I am sore all over and can barely move my neck. This recovery process is going to be much longer than from the last surgery a week ago. My onc thinks I can get my results on either Monday or Tuesday.

I met with my onc again this past Wed. and he explained to me that I have swollen lymph nodes in more places than I thought. I thought I just had the large one in my neck that was 3cm and the one in my chest that is 14cm. HUGE. Grapefruit sizematic! Turns out they are lined up and down my neck, trachea and into my chest. I haven't had a scan yet to see below my abdomen. THis was pretty shocking at my appointment cause I realized it is worse than I thought. My doctor is convinced its Hodgkins and now we are just waiting on the results on the second biopsy.

I lost my job back in January and have been living back in my parents house since then. Of course losing my job was a blessing in disguise. I never would have gone to the doctor had my mother not forced me to go. SO it's great that I found out about HL, but on the other hand, I feel like my entire life has been put on hold. All my friends are in Nashville. I have no job, which takes a lot of pressure off of me I guess, but I'm bored outta my mind. Dating has been put on hold. I had been having a great time dating around trying to find the right guy but now that is SOOOO on hold. I recently just lost 100 pounds and a whole new world has been opened up to me and now I feel like it's been shut down. I just feel so far away from my normal life and it kinda sucks. I thought 2010 was going to be MY year!  Not so much!

I'm honestly just ready to get passed this and move on with my life.

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